Clarity In Muddy Waters

Clarity In Muddy Waters
I am just a tiny speck in our beautiful mass

Thursday, May 15, 2014

The All-American Rejects - Dirty Little Secret

Legal bullshit abounds

Haven't been writing lately as I have had to take care of some legal problems that I really can't discuss per my lawyer...Imagine that.  I did learn that when you tell someone to call your lawyer the effect is quite entertaining.  My Joe looked very impressive in court. I have to talk about that.  He is my Tony Soprano.  The most attractive quality any man can have is the ABILITY TO GET IT DONE!  If you have that quality a girls panties are already trying to wiggle off. The only problem is that I wish he could be like that all the time.  We argue quite a bit, mostly over things I know I have told him and he swears I am lying  simply because he can't remember.  That is very frustrating.   When we went to the lawyers office I was so very happy because his attitude was proper and the way it is when he is fresh and rested.  I wish he could be like that all the time.  These days he is turning so very bitter.   It is frustrating.  He claims at the age of 76 he no longer has to be polite and civil.  He has done it for too many years and no longer has the patience. I am not 76 so I can't speak for his state of mind.  Ever since he was let go (forced into early retirement) I have watched his moods and state of mind disintegrate.  Ageism is huge in the US and I am sure all over the globe.  It doesn't seem like a big deal until you watch someone you love deal with it first hand.  I have spent this whole week at his house getting some grocery shopping done, making sure he picks up his lawnmower, and just keeping him good company.  Bought him some nice manly new sheets and wash-cloths. Things men never think about.

I now know why lawyers drive beautiful cars and live in fabulous homes.  My legal bill is $15,000. Joe lives in a very upscale part of PA, referred too as the "Mainline"...The main attraction is The King Of Prussia Mall..Uber expensive.  All top of the line brand name stores...(boutiques)  Michael Kors, get the picture.  From past experience I have learned the importance of having a lawyer who is well known and at the top of the game in town.  Explains vividly why most people who land in prison are poor and can't afford the "right" lawyer.  There are many decent public defenders, but there are many who are burnt out. So if you are poverty stricken and relying on state supplied legal defense it is like shooting craps.  The odds in any casino are with the house.

So just taking my life one day at a time.  Lately always expecting the unexpected.  Par for the human life course.  People just seem to be oblivious to each other.  This seems to be the true ME generation.  No one has time to help their neighbors anymore.  God knows, they are simply too busy with their own myriad of problems. I refuse to become a cynic because I know there are still decent people out there.  They just lock their doors now. Peace!

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Carlos Santana / Rob Thomas - Smooth 1999 Live Video

Just Like Music....

Early morning, coffee and good(great music).  Muddy Waters...I'm a blues girl.  Isn't that where it all started from?  These days happiness comes in notes and verses and the modulation of a voice.  The right sound can turn my day around...crazy huh?  That's the power of all forms of art.  The written word, a painting, a song.  It seems that's all we have left these days anyhow.  Refinancing, government cheese, and food stamps..thru it all there is music.  In this economy the Sticky Fingers abound.  White collar crooks getting their groove on, oblivious to the pain that we feel as our fingers tighten on the pen as we sit with the check book clueless.  Monday, Monday the grind starts again tomorrow.  My one saving grace?  The earbuds I plug into my phone. I think it's so groovy now, that the economy is tanking now.  To my friends in Detroit I say a little prayer for you.  Now we are listening to some Oye Como Va.  Gotta love Santana. I'm a cheap date. Me and some music and a cup of coffee.  I don't even need a partner for this date. Me dancing around my room in my pink bathrobe is the ultimate happiness!  Take it where you can get it. Have a beautiful Sunday. Dance!

Saturday, May 3, 2014

I feel good..

It's Saturday and 70 degrees out. The windows are open and I feel good dammit.  It's about time.  Maybe the mood stabilizers are working or maybe I just feel good.  Eyes wide open and clear headed....I have cleaned out my closet.  That is a yearly thing I do.  Go through the list of people in my life that cause me stress and aggravation and I just delete them.  So I'm down to 3 real friends that are like family and I'm lovely with that.  Better 3 than 30 fake pains in my ass.  My bullshit radar is on high alert these days. I notice that when the economy tanks the more bullshit abounds.  All for the love of money.  I despise that.  Everyone thinks that my life is so easy, except for the 3 real friends.  Everyone sees the outside package all put together looking good.  They don't see the pain and hurt underneath.  The struggle to keep the package perfect.  That alone is a job.  I adore my Joe.  76 and has the spirit of a 20 year old man.  Proper until pissed.  Will tell you to fuck off in a heart beat. I do believe he has earned the right to say whatever the hell he wants to say.  When you are born in 1937 and still doing the damned thing in 2014 hallelujah!  He does not give a rats ass what anyone thinks about him and I love it and him. Yes I feel good today.  He is the numero uno friend on this planet.  Screams at me until I cry but only to get my head out of my ass as he states.  My head is slowly coming out of my ass and seeing thing with wide eyes. I feel good.  Godspeed!!!!!

Tuesday, April 29, 2014


This is the magic time. When night turns into early morn. This is my secret time of day that I don't wish to share with anyone.  All is silent, peace abounds..just for a few minutes even. It's enough for me. This is what gives me faith to persevere.  If I can have this special time to regroup and think.  Listen to what's inside myself than I know I can keep pushing onward. I wouldn't trade this time for all the riches in the world.  This is magic time.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Tanning beds and puppies

Just a quick little post. Here is a great spot to find some a tanning bed.  You can lay there naked with your ear-buds in and for 20 minutes no one bothers you. Yes, I know not to over-do the tanning bed, skin cancer and what not.  Doesn't everything cause cancer nowadays?  I see little tots carrying miniature bottles of hand sanitizer and I think, are they ever going to be able to build a resistance to germs?  Oh that's right, kids don't play outside that much these days.  Parents are very over-protective because there are so many perverts out to harm their family.  Yes, I am being slightly sarcastic, but if the parents would actually sit out there and pay attention to what their children are doing it would prevent the perverts of the world from an easy kid snatching. Anything good and decent in this world requires effort.

On another note I am now going to be in a court battle regarding Joe because all the kids want his damn money now.  They don't understand that Joe is so happy just eating 2 for a dollar apple pies from McDonald's and watching tv.  They don't even truly know their dad.  They don't know that the only decenbt meals he eats are when I am with him.  When you hear a man say that "Ah, they are just waiting for me to die so they can fight over who gets what" it breaks my heart.

With everything I know now in life I wish I could have given birth to a small, healthy.....puppy!!!!!! God forgive that comment, it just slipped out.  Be Well and Be Kind!