Clarity In Muddy Waters

Clarity In Muddy Waters
I am just a tiny speck in our beautiful mass

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Beautiful Berwyn

I know, I know.  Been very bad about updating my blog.  The real world does take over at times.  Joe and I are at our favorite bagel shop enjoying breakfast.  He turned 76 yesterday.  I got him a new watch and and a nice set of cuff-links.  (plus a lovely birthday cake).  I have slowed the wheels on my love affair, as with anything else, something that feels that good can be abused just like drugs or food.  This is my new chapter in life..  I am focusing on me, myself and I.  I am loving living alone for the first time in my adult life.  I LOVE IT!  It is the strangest feeling after always being a wife and mother since I was 18 to finally open the door to my home and it's just me...I don't have to buy food based on what other's want to eat.  I finally have control of the remote.  Little things...walking around in my t-shirt and panties.  All the things you take for granted.  I know I'm finally done with room-mates etc.  I thrive being alone.  Yes, it was scary at first, but now I wouldn't want it any other way.  So yes, I am still alive and doing well.  This is brief but I am hopefully going to be more diligent about posting and reading all of your blogs.  Enjoy your weekend!

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Favorite Post Secret This Week

Some people stay married because it is an admission of failure or they are afraid of change, the unknown or the kids.  When the pain heals you are so much happier.  The fighting, lies etc. are over.  You find your peace.  That is priceless.

Does the grinding ever stop?

Every day I wake up and it's the same old song and dance, just a new day of the week.  Does it ever stop?  I know, upon death. I am hoping for a better answer than just turning to dust.  I am learning to just really appreciate whatever free time I have and make the most of it.  I have also learned that falling in love is fun, endorphin releasing but sometimes you have to put the brakes on all those good feelings.  My priorities have gotten all out of order.  I need to not fall into my old patterns of putting the new man in my life before EVERYTHING.  I stopped blogging which is one of my personal ways of expressing my true thoughts and feelings.  This is my therapy.  I need to do this.  I am now in the process of putting my life back in order.  Good relationships are like a good sauce.  It takes time and must simmer slowly to reach perfection.  I can't operate on emotions when it comes to making important life decisions.  If this man in my life wants to be with me it will happen in due time.  He has ALOT of baggage.  So do I, but mine is more emotional.  His is financial, family, legal and emotional.  I would love to be with this man in a more permanent capacity.  I, however, don't think I should be the one laying all my cards out on the table.  He is not good, as alot of males, when it comes to talking about feelings.  So I am keeping my heart in check and now I shall wait and see.  It's his move now.  He knows I am in love with him.  I think I shouldn't have to beg anyone for their time.  Enjoy the labor day weekend.  Peace!