Living life

Living.  One simple word.  What I want to know is this; are we just existing, surviving or thriving? ( Or a combination of all three?)  I am opting for the combination choice.  In the cold, brutal winter I definitely am not thriving.  Now that spring is in the air, I have hopes of doing more than just existing. I get a little giddy when I see all the garden departments opening up.  Spring means hope to me.  Birth, life, growth and new beginnings. I don't know what it is a about cold weather that gives me the blues.  I do know that I am not alone.  I have seen the funny little hats with the light bulbs that are supposed to help with depression.  I take Paxil.  I wonder how much the medication actually helps? I see my doctor on Monday and I'm thinking maybe I should switch anti-depressants.  I have been taking Paxil for almost three years now and I feel like it isn't working.  I do believe that there is only so much a pill can do.  True happiness must come from within, so they say.  I want to meet these "THEY" people.  I am struck by how much THEY know.  I know something is wrong when I can sit and watch numerous back to back episodes of Law & Order and not move. 

So to combat the blahs I am getting in the shower and going to Joe's house and play with my dog.  Joe sounds like he is declining mentally and a bit physically.  We talk daily.  It is hard to be someone's Everything. He will be 76 in September.  He is still going to the library daily to do his job search.  The depression that he is suffering with is different than mine.  His is loss of the thrill of living.  It's very sad.  He was born in 1937.  Quite a different world than 2013.  He has shown me pictures of his childhood.  Very different than the kids of today.  I can see his confusion when he dials a number and has to push prompts.  He feels that everyone assumes you have internet access.  He knew life before Wi-Fi and TVs. He played baseball when he grew up not Nintendo.  I try to bring some cheer into his life.  He sleeps with the dog every night.  I share my dog with him because isn't allowed where I live.  Joe needs the companionship and a canine friend sometimes beats a human one.  So I am off to shake the blues and hopefully bring some sunshine into Joe's.  Be kind...Peace