Snow!!!

Yes, I get miserable when it dumps tons of snow in my world.  It has been non-stop.  I than go to Joe's

house last week (forgot my laptop) and he is snowed in, no coffee, pipe tobacco or good food.  He has a very steep driveway and he couldn't get his car out. Not once did his kids call to check on him. I brought a girlfriend with me and she got his car to the top of his driveway.  We went grocery shopping, cooked meals in advance and basically kept him sane.  I just arrived back here and this time I remembered my laptop.  I have missed writing and reading everyone else.  He was without power for 4 days.  I just arrived here tonight and am pleased to see things are still in order.  I am staying until Monday.  Oh yeah his one child called at the end of the blizzard to see if he has decided what to do with the house and remind him that their son's birthday was coming up so he could remember to send a check. What good children.....ahem...bullshit....Just calling them like I see 'em.  They hate me.  Seems they never knew Dad had any money and when they found out how generous he has been with me they exploded.  They think I am Anna Nicole Smith lol.  I have been with this man for 4 years.  I didn't know he was well off when I met him at Denny's.  It's amazing what greed does to a family..rather sad if you ask me.  So trying to find time to be back in the blog-o-sphere.  Now I shall read up on what everyone else has been doing. Peace!!!!!

Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum...and more nonsense!

The Gods are killing me with this over abundance of snow.  Enough already...please.  Driving should now be referred to as slip sliding away. Maybe the ice-age is looming and we are just too dense to see it.  I'm positive the dinosaurs didn't take it seriously as they munched on green leaves or each other.  They obviously didn't have the last laugh.

My heart is healing.  I think I need to wear a chastity belt for the next year.  I simply get too dick stupid.  Throw in feelings with great sex and you have a recipe for success or great disaster.  Raise you hand if you have experienced great disaster. Both of mine are up in the air.  The positive note is that we learn from each mistake and we move forward.  Or we just keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and expect different results which is the definition of insanity.  My lesson has been learned.  Albeit at much expense, emotional and financial.  Whenever I fuck up it is never on a small scale.  Always balls to the wall lose it all type of fucking up.  Too old and too tired to repeat the game.   I would prefer a dog to a man any day.  They are loyal without a fault and listen to my inane pillow talk at night as if they are deeply interested.   I have yet to meet a man who can match those qualities.

Went out to dinner with my dear friend Joe last night and we went to one of our usual spots.  Last night was our favorite greek-owned diner.  Had some phenomenal eggnog and a great tilapia dinner.  Joe and I have a friendship that is about 4 years old.  He is the voice of reason and bluntness in my world.  Everyone needs a friend that can be blunt and honest with them.  I help him muddle his way in this new technology driven world that makes him insane.  ( He was born in 1937). He is my voice of reason.  I still cant get him to learn or even understand text messaging.  Direct quote- " If someone wants to converse with me, why the fuck can't they pick up their goddamned phone and speak.  Why must they type a bunch of words that can be spoken"  I understand his thinking.

So now I am packing my bag and getting ready to go back to my side of the tracks.  I live in a small, quaint part of Pa.  He lives on the "Mainline"  (things simply cost more here because of the zipcode) He prefers my cozy apt. to his gigantic house.  Ironic huh?

Happy New Year to all and be thankful for the little things in your life.  I am learning that they are the most important. Peace!

Tis the season over?

Yes,  I am a scrooge this year.  I am still nursing a broken heart and wasn't feeling festive at all.  I always jump in heart first and yes, the usual pattern of getting fucked over ensues.  So I wasn't exactly in the mood to sing Christmas carols.

A new year is coming around the bend.  What are you wishing for?  World peace, financial stability?  My wish is simple.  Peace of mind and as a sidebar to understand this damn Obama care plan.  I tried to discuss it with my doctor and he is honest enough to admit that he is quite confused.  I need to find a decent affordable (hahhhaha) dentist.  Wish me luck.  I am at the point where I don't even want to open my mail.  It's in neat piles on my desk.  Staring at me.  I pretend I don't feel the glare of bills I can't afford to pay.

Speaking of lack of money, I just watched a documentary about the city of Detroit.  I cried.  That city was once upon a time a thriving hub of America. People used to travel from deep in the south to get to Detroit because they knew the could find employment.  WTF happened????  I wish I could recall the name of the film.. I do know it is an HBO documentary.  Fuck talking with politicians, they are speaking to the long time residents who have lived there through the good times and now, poverty stricken times.  The most beautiful thing that touched me is that there are so many die hard residents who simply won't throw in the towel.  They refuse to move. This is the city that they love and have no desire to bail out and run.  I admire that quality.  The loyalty to a hometown, a community. It is an example of the tenacity of certain human beings.  The younger generation should take notes.  Rock on Detroit!!!

Lining my ducks up and getting my house in order.  This is the year that things are going to get done. No more procrastinating.  I am not getting any younger. I just turned 47. I still have time to accomplish many things. So Happy New Year and don't make a resolution that is not attainable.  Keep it simple.  Peace!

Being domestic

Yes, that is me today.  Hanging clothes, pictures, watering plants etc.  There is a certain joy when you see the finished results of your hard work.  My favorite thing about this apartment-It is over a beauty salon.  I can go tanning everyday and I am finally treating myself to getting my hair professionally done tomorrow.  I am careful about the tanning, skin cancer scares me, however when your bones aches a tanning bed feels like a wonderful heating pad for your whole body.

I have been watching the news, than get depressed and switch the channel.  I am very confused about this Obama care.  Seems noone else really understands it either.  I think healthcare is a very important topic and concern for all of us.  I just wish someone could explain it so the masses can grasp what the fuck is going on.  People are innately afraid of change to begin with and when they can't even understand the change it makes it more frightening.  My friend Joe is 76 and very intelligent and Obama scares him to death.  I feel badly for him as I watch him making this way through this strange, digital world we now live in.  He claims the best period of time to grow up in was the 50's.  I don't know.  I wasn't born yet. I wonder what it is like to have been born in 1937 and have seen so many changes throughout the decades.  I believe some adjust to the best of their ability and others can't cope and wind up in a nursing home.  I pray I never lose my ability to cope and adjust.

Time to get back to my domestic chores. Feel free to help...Peace!

Being the other woman is a pain in the ass....

Most important, don't fall asleep with a bowl on mini-wheats near your lap-top.  Had to bury my HP and now bought a Toshiba.  Thank God it happened on Black Friday. I feel like I have been away from my blog for so long that it is almost like creating a new one.  Another life lesson...if you don't listen to your inner voice that tells you not to date a married man, get ready for uber drama in your life.  The first 3 months will be filled with fantastic sex etc.  Than you take a good look at this man (doesn't help if he is 10 years younger) and you can start empathizing with his wife.My friend has been with the same woman since middle school.  That means at 36 he has been with her for 18 years.  ( Not counting indiscretions on both sides) I am a realist.  Marriage is hard.  It's not all about white dresses and sex and bliss.  It's fucking hard!!!  He told me I am the first woman out of of 3 that he has been with that has never asked him to leave his wife.  His feelings got hurt when I explained to him that 2 nights a week is plenty for me.  I don't want to wash his clothes, hear him bitching about money and bills.  They also have 3 children.  He just lost his job.  She is the breadwinner.  Oh hell no...I enjoy his friendship and hope that we can always maintain that.  I was with the same man for 20 years.  I know marriage.  I know enough that there are 3 sides to every story. His, hers, and the truth. We had words a week or so ago and when I described him as my friend, he said she is my wife, you are my woman. My mistress.  Really?  We are at very different arcs in our lives.  He feels that a man can love 2 women at the same time.  It's like a sense of entitlement.  This is a prime example of why you shouldn't marry young.  Sow those oats, learn who you are as a person.  Love yourself.  Than you might be ready for marraige.  I am finally getting my focus back and when I stopped writing I realized I was way to caught up in this relationship. Forgive my lapse.  I miss my social network of people.  Life is getting back to normal.  Especially now that he doesn't have a car at his disposal all the time.  I am one of those people who has to have a certain amount of "me" time daily.  I like solitude.  I love peace and quiet.  I am getting my groove back and it feels fanfuckingtastic.  Now let me read what is going on in everyone else's world.  Peace!

Beautiful Berwyn

I know, I know.  Been very bad about updating my blog.  The real world does take over at times.  Joe and I are at our favorite bagel shop enjoying breakfast.  He turned 76 yesterday.  I got him a new watch and and a nice set of cuff-links.  (plus a lovely birthday cake).  I have slowed the wheels on my love affair, as with anything else, something that feels that good can be abused just like drugs or food.  This is my new chapter in life..  I am focusing on me, myself and I.  I am loving living alone for the first time in my adult life.  I LOVE IT!  It is the strangest feeling after always being a wife and mother since I was 18 to finally open the door to my home and it's just me...I don't have to buy food based on what other's want to eat.  I finally have control of the remote.  Little things...walking around in my t-shirt and panties.  All the things you take for granted.  I know I'm finally done with room-mates etc.  I thrive being alone.  Yes, it was scary at first, but now I wouldn't want it any other way.  So yes, I am still alive and doing well.  This is brief but I am hopefully going to be more diligent about posting and reading all of your blogs.  Enjoy your weekend!

Favorite Post Secret This Week

Some people stay married because it is an admission of failure or they are afraid of change, the unknown or the kids.  When the pain heals you are so much happier.  The fighting, lies etc. are over.  You find your peace.  That is priceless.